We Are The Immortals

"wake up. curse the world. make a plan .then conquer it. simple rules of being the best you can be."

Sun, 02 Sep 2012 12:16:33 -0400

“wake up. curse the world. make a plan .then conquer it. simple rules of being the best you can be.”

"i wish i could tell you every thing will work out…and that everything will be ok. but whats..."

Mon, 06 Aug 2012 10:32:00 -0400

“i wish i could tell you every thing will work out…and that everything will be ok. but whats life without a little chaos and destruction? how are you supposed to learn to appreciate life when everything is just fine and dandy? where’s the love in that?”

- a.b.e

"At some point you have to stop dreaming, you actually have to get your ass out of bed and go make..."

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 19:50:16 -0400

“At some point you have to stop dreaming, you actually have to get your ass out of bed and go make your dreams a reality. you can make your thoughts materialize through your actions. so what the fuck are you waiting for? you can change your life starting now.”

- A.B.E

One day you’ll realize how much you need me. How much you miss me. How much you want to take...

Sat, 26 May 2012 21:48:54 -0400

One day you’ll realize how much you need me. How much you miss me. How much you want to take back everything you said that night. You’ll realize that there’s no other person who could possibly love and care for you as I did, nor will you ever find someone who does. When the day comes that all of this comes to light, and you discover these things, I’ll be long gone.
You’ve had your chances - over, and over, and over. I’ve given you way too many. Even when my friends told me not to, even when I knew that it wasn’t going to work out and that you would never really change how you are.
But I’m not going to sit here and be a sitting duck as you stomp around and do as you please. I’m not going to allow myself to hurt, to cry, to worry - about you anymore. By the time you come walking back, I’ll already be gone and happy with someone else. Someone who understands me, appreciates me, and cares for me the way I should be cared for.

- Gene

"When you realize exactly what you want in life, all the pieces will fall in place. Shit is fucking..."

Thu, 17 May 2012 06:03:02 -0400

“When you realize exactly what you want in life, all the pieces will fall in place. Shit is fucking amazing”

- A.B.E

"Life is only worth living when you stop living jus to survive."

Sun, 06 May 2012 21:31:26 -0400

“Life is only worth living when you stop living jus to survive.”

- A.B.E

"I can’t give you all the fortunes, the silver, the gold, and all materialistic things but I..."

Fri, 04 May 2012 12:23:40 -0400

“I can’t give you all the fortunes, the silver, the gold, and all materialistic things but I can give something that’s worth more all than that. I can give you a loving soul, a caring heart, eyes that won’t shed tears, and a mind clear of fears. That is what I can give you.”

- A.B.E

Life ain't a fairytale.

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 22:06:18 -0400

mister-al:

I refuse to live in a fairytale world just to be with you. I don’t want to live where there’s never any problems, it gets boring. I want to be able to fix something that I have done wrong. I want to correct you when you’re wrong just so you won’t have to repeat anymore mistakes in the future. I don’t want to hide from all the problems just to make YOU feel happy, I’ll only get fed up and leave you heartbroken because you’re not able to figure out what you did wrong without me teaching you on how to do things correctly and responsibly. I also want you to correct me as well because I’m not always right. I make mistakes, I can’t always treat you perfect or the way you want me to. Majority of the time, with you being a female, you’ll either keep something important from me, even if you say it’s not, or you’ll stop being open about yourself causing me to guess everything until we argue and stop talking. I can’t promise you that I’ll be prince charming because he’s not real. I don’t want to be a nobody, pretending to be a cartoon character just for you, that’s not who I am. I also can’t promise you anything because I don’t believe in them, I only believe is actions. Regardless of all the negativity, I will stand here by your side, be the crutches for when you fall, the one you can always turn to when you lose trust or a friend, and I’ll be the person who is willing to show you something different and not follow what every other teenage/early adult couples do. I will make sure that we either stand out or stand strong for each other.

There’s a war brewing just beneath my skin - mind against heart, I wonder who will win. The...

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 00:26:14 -0400

There’s a war brewing just beneath my skin - mind against heart, I wonder who will win. The stakes are high either way, and I’ll smile to keep the good Samaritans at bay.
There’s a war going on, with no end to it’s start. They’ll fight until it kills me, until death do us part.

If you knew how much I really think of you…maybe you would believe a man could actually give...

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 23:12:45 -0400

If you knew how much I really think of you…maybe you would believe a man could actually give you the world without a single question.

hiding an interest in someone is possibly the most damaging thing one can do to his or her own soul....

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 10:50:22 -0400

hiding an interest in someone is possibly the most damaging thing one can do to his or her own soul. the fact that you look from afar and admire someone and allow it to consume your mind your thoughts as you live hopelessly trying to find confidence to try and get to know that person, makes your life seem like a sad miserable string of events.

but it’s hard because in this world, we are afraid of rejection. we are so afraid to be lonely to the point where we want people in our lives but are terrified by the fact that they might leave us one day. but if you can’t fight your own fears to gain your own salvation and freedom from it, how can you say you’re really living your life?

Random Dialogue

Sun, 08 Apr 2012 20:50:58 -0400

“Well I’ll see you around,” she says before quickly turning to walk away. He grabs her by the shoulder before she takes her first step.

“What is up with you?” he asks, “We used to be so close, now you barely talk to me not to mention try to run away from me any time we end up in the same room together. I don’t understand.” He turns her around and their eyes meet. His like ice blue crystals shining in the summer sun, making her feel so insignificant in his perfect presence. Quickly she averts her eyes and looks at the ground. She can feel little tugs at her heart strings and quickly raises her hand to her chest.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about silly,” she says attempting to shrug off his concern.

“Don’t give me that. You know exactly what I mean, you can’t even look me in the eye for more than two seconds. Did I do something wrong? Please just tell me.” She takes a step back, releasing herself from his grip on her shoulder. To herself she whispers it’s nothing before taking another step back. She could feel his eyes digging holes into her, but she refused to look back at him. Eyes closed, she raises her head and smiles - “Silly boy, it’s nothing! I have to go now though!” Again, she turns to make her escape; and again he doesn’t let her.

“Tell me. Please.” he quietly begs. The sound of the hurt in his voice broke her. She couldn’t stand to hear him like that, partially because she couldn’t stand the thought of hurting him, but more so because of how much he had hurt her.

“You really want to know?” she says harshly, pushing his hand off her shoulder and turning to face him. Her dark brown eyes looked like black holes glaring back at him. “I can’t be around you. I literally can not be around you. When I’m with you, it’s like I’m in a whole other world. In a world where I don’t hurt anymore. In a world that makes me feel safe and loved. And that kind of feeling is fatal for someone like me. That kind of feeling is what breaks hearts. A heart with so many rips and tears in it just wants to feel whole again, and that’s what you do for me - and that kind of feeling is addicting. Spending too much time with you makes me never want to leave, and actually that would be perfect, but here’s the kicker - YOU don’t want me. Not like that. You did once. Once. But you don’t anymore, and letting myself get close to someone like you, letting myself get close to anyone that makes me feel like you do, is fatal. And I don’t want to break again. So yeah, you’re right. I don’t want to talk to you, and I run every time we are near each other, because you can’t just come in here and make me feel safe and loved and then take it away again. It’s not fair, and I will not play that game.”

Not once did her eyes leave his while she spilled her heart out for him. Not once did she let a single tear caress down her cheek. He stood before her awestruck and silenced by her answer. She relaxed her muscles, and her eyes softened; but they never left his. Slowly she takes a step backwards and takes a deep breath.

Closing her eyes, she turns around slowly and begins to walk away.

This time he doesn’t try to stop her. He watches her every step until she is completely out of his sight.

I built so many walls - surrounded myself with so much security that I had convinced myself I...

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 23:31:25 -0400

I built so many walls - surrounded myself with so much security that I had convinced myself I wouldn’t fall again.

I couldn’t fall again.

But then came you with your pretty words, and your loving arms. I thought maybe I could find a home in your heart. You broke down every wall, swept away every barrier, until all that was left was my heart. Raw and beating in the mercy of your hands.

I thought maybe I could find home in you.

But every sweet word you whispered faded into the night, and you left my heart beating along in the cold. My hands don’t have the strength to re-build the walls you destroyed. And now all I have left is a half beating mess, some rubble, and the faint whisper of everything I thought we could be.

is there not much to say, to sum up the anger and sadness that clouds my heart over the death of...

Fri, 30 Mar 2012 22:41:18 -0400

is there not much to say, to sum up the anger and sadness that clouds my heart over the death of Trayvon Smith. People are afraid to make it a racial issue, but this is not the first time that a young black person was murdered for no reason at the hands of a white person. that shit has been happening and there are several cases where the people who did it got away with it all.

i don’t have faith in the justice system when it comes to handling cases in which young black americans are murdered by white people. that shit slides on so much bullshit. this may be the tipping point in the black community, shit could get hostile. if people thought the Rodney King riots was something to behold…

they aint seen shit yet.

a.b.e

Converse;

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 20:55:07 -0400

Remember when it wasn’t just me talking? When it wasn’t just me who started the conversations. The one who kept things going to pass time. Or was it just me who decided it was better let things become awkward and silent just because it’s what friends do. I wonder what it’s like to be able to talk to someone without it dying down because we’re in public. Does it hurt you to speak? To spend time getting to know someone. To converse about life, the past, present, or even the future; was that too much of a problem to simply chat about. Even if you had things to hide, hide them, not your entire life. I don’t enjoy talking to a fucking wall and I’m sure neither do you, so don’t make it such a difficult moment between us. The next time you need someone to talk to, someone to fall back so they can understand you to pick you up, don’t come to me. I’d let you fall purposely so you can see how it feels to be dropped by someone you were once close with before I even get close to you once again. But even then, I’m sure you would repeat your same mistakes of making things awkward and hard for us to communicate to each other.

-misterallannn

There it is. I’m lonely again. There is credence to the idea that we are always truly alone....

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 03:47:40 -0400

There it is. I’m lonely again.

There is credence to the idea that we are always truly alone. And we will die that way. But it’s been a very long time since I’ve been afraid of dying. I guess when you’ve been tempted to kill yourself (on more than one occasion), you just welcome it. And when you’re lonely for too long… you accept it.

It changes you.

You observe people more and wonder how they’re smiling. Why they are happy. And why it’s not the same way for you. You stare at them and are in limbo of loathing and admiring. You shrink into yourself. You nestle into the metaphysical. It’s safe and warm that way.

It’s not being anti-social, which is making an effort of disassociating yourself from the norm. It just comes effortlessly. And it scares you for a while. You think something’s wrong with you. You actually believe you’re too stupid to function. Nights go by and you continue feeling this way until you’re so sick of yourself that everything snaps into place and then it hits you!

Nothing matters.

And it never did. (You’re enlightened in the darkest of ways)

Until…

Until life grasps you again by a beautiful face or a soothing voice or a gentle touch or a warming meal or an invigorating song. Strangers stop becoming strange. Hatred fades into the background. Loathing becomes curiosity and admiring stays the same.

And I’m happy when it happens. And so are you…

Until friends become strangers… Curiosity becomes loathing… And admiring… Well, there’s nothing beautiful to see anymore.

Ending things doesn’t sound all that bad again.

I forgive you. Well, that didn’t work. I thought by saying it and thinking it, that I actually...

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 04:33:32 -0400

I forgive you.

Well, that didn’t work. I thought by saying it and thinking it, that I actually could. But the truth is, I don’t think I ever can. The things you told me, the things you did, I’ll never forget.
And although there’s no reason to hang onto those memories any longer, I just can’t forget them. I can’t bring myself to think that our past, that our memories, our words and whispers - were lies. I’ll never be able to forget, and I will never be able to forgive.

I remember feeling broken. (When you’ve hit rock bottom and stayed there for so long, you...

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 00:52:10 -0400

I remember feeling broken. (When you’ve hit rock bottom and stayed there for so long, you liked it)

I remember taking every risk I could to see if something bad would happen. Something so bad, it would hurt me. Maybe even more. I would take my seat belt off when the car was going 70+ mph. I would see how close I could get to a brick wall before it was too late to turn. I remember taking just a couple too many pain killers to see what would happen.

I didn’t care.

I even had a dream about dying and it felt terrifyingly euphoric. I was shot in my stomach by a stranger. She smiled when I collapsed to my knees. I looked down and saw blood on my hands and then I felt the second bullet enter my head. It was really warm, in my dream. I hit the ground and I felt the waves of the ocean drift me away.

It was so wonderful to truly be able to let go of the world and my life.

It wasn’t painful at all.

I felt safe.

And happy because I didn’t have to be numb. It was the best dream I’ve ever had.

A lot of people walked out on me. You can say that people are easily drawn to me, but after a while,...

Sun, 11 Mar 2012 00:41:29 -0500

A lot of people walked out on me. You can say that people are easily drawn to me, but after a while, i either have to be moved or they have to leave. it sucks because I always wonder if anyone will actually stay.

When it comes down to it, I wonder if i’ll ever be able to handle a relationship seeing as how people just fall out of my life. it’s quite depressing to think about. I try not to though, i try to look at my life and focus on all the good things that are going on. but my heart still wishes that I could find someone that will stay and share these moments of happiness with me.

a hopeless romantic with a realistic view on life. a man that holds so much knowledge and can teach people to do, but can’t do himself. i feel like everything about my personality is never completed.

but maybe that’s a good thing. maybe striving to be a better person constantly will lead me to the dreams that i want to live. but it’s depressing because at this point..i have so much going for me, that i still feel a little empty.

and yet i can never take the steps necessary to find some one to fill that void. you can say i’m young and i have a lot of years ahead of me, but i been though a lot. forced to be at least 20 years ahead of my time mentally; how i can have an answer to every problem i don’t know. and yet i can’t follow my own shit.

i fucking hate this shit, but at the same time i have to embrace it.

A.B.E

And suddenly, I felt sad. No matter how happy I am and no matter how hard I work, it’s never...

Fri, 09 Mar 2012 11:22:45 -0500

And suddenly,

I felt sad. No matter how happy I am and no matter how hard I work, it’s never enough for me.

I’m insatiable.

I’m happy for days on end and then I’m sad again because I want to achieve greater things and make my life better and improve myself as a person. I’m happy to have made progress.. but then I realize I can do better. So I become sad in order to remind myself that I still have work to do and I’ll always have work to do until I’m no longer alive.

I’m envious of the people who can relax and enjoy life and be happy with what they have and who they are.

I will never be as lucky and as grateful.

I’m a bastard and I will never have enough.